What makes a good coach?

Deep Listening – A good coach really, truly listens. It might feel like you’ve never been listened to so intently in your whole life. They aren’t thinking what they are going to say next, they aren’t waiting for you to finish so they can say something profound, they are listening to understand.  They will be comfortable with silence, and know that sometimes you need quiet and space to process your thoughts and feelings.

Whole Hearted Presence – During your sessions, your coach focuses purely on you.  They get rid of any distractions, and bring their whole self to the session.  You feel like you are the only thing that in the world that matters to them in that moment.

Self awareness – We like to call this ‘knowing your own shit’!  What this means is that a really good coach will practice self-development in order to build awareness of their own biases, triggers, habits and tendencies.  This means they can keep the focus on you, and not bring their own ‘stuff’ to the session.

Courage and Honesty – Great coaches are brave enough to say things that others may think but be too afraid to say.  They will use their own experience of you as the basis for feedback.  They are honest, and won’t tell you what they think you want to hear.

Empathy – Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes – to see things from another’s perspective.  Your coach should make you feel heard and understood – you should feel like they really ‘get you’.

Curiosity – The best coaches I know are endlessly curious, they make you feel like you are the most interesting person in the world. They ask the best questions and are genuinely interested in your response.  They never tire of researching, asking questions and finding different ways to look at things.

Flexible – Session not going right?  The issue you think you want to discuss morphs into something else?  A great coach will be comfortable with deviating from the plan, and going where you need it most.

Holds the space – A great coach will quickly establish rapport with you.  They will create a safe space where you can truly be yourself, where can say what you really think and feel.  They will be comfortable with you expressing strong emotions, and understand that this is an important part of the process.

Focus on you – This might sound like a strange one, but working with some coaches can sometimes feel like it’s all about them.  The coaching session should mostly be you talking, if it’s not, then your coach might have the focus in the wrong place.

Facilitator not Teacher – This is based on the belief that the client always has the answer somewhere inside them, therefore a good coach will be your facilitator or guide, they will help you explore, look at things in a different way, and reflect to find the answer that may be buried deep inside you.

Non-judgemental – Your coach should never make you feel like you are being disapproved of.  That no matter what you tell them, they will not judge you, and even when they are giving you difficult feedback, you should feel that it is coming from a place of wanting to help you improve.

Holistic – Getting divorced?  Having trouble with your teenage son?  Great executive coaches are comfortable if you conversation strays away from work.  They know that you are more than your job role, and that what is going on in your personal life is going to impact how you show up at work.

Continuous Professional Development – No matter how long a coach has been in business, they should be continuously developing their coaching skills, not just through practice, but through engaging with thought leaders, listening to podcasts, attending workshops, reading, indeed anything that keeps them fresh and gives them new insights.

This captures our view of what makes a good coach – do you agree or disagree?  What would you have on your list?  Let us know!