The Achievment Saboteur: Why High Achievers Struggle with Self-Sabotage
High performers are often admired for their competence, resilience, and ability to conquer seemingly insurmountable challenges. Their competitiveness and willingness to take responsibility mean that they are given opportunities to prove themselves. They are seen as competent and often become a ‘go-to’ person in a team. However, lurking beneath the surface of success, many face a hidden adversary: the Achievement Saboteur. This is a self-sabotaging force rooted in fear of failure, avoidance of vulnerability and a strong need to prove worth through achievement.
What is the Achievement Saboteur?
The Achievement Saboteur is an internalised belief that your self-worth is tied to productivity, competence, independence and achievement. For individuals struggling with this mindset, achievement becomes less about personal growth or fulfilment and more about validation from external sources. Often, these individuals feel they must be self-sufficient and over-deliver to maintain their value, leading to a cycle of overwork, burnout, and disconnection from their authentic selves. They feel compelled to shoulder every responsibility, outshine others, and prove their worth through sheer effort—often at the expense of their own well-being.
How the Achievement Saboteur Manifests
- Fear of Failure: Failure is not seen as a learning opportunity but as a threat to one’s identity. This fear often pushes high achievers to blame others and to avoid risks, even when those risks could lead to meaningful growth.
- Overcommitment: Those with the Achievement self-saboteur tend to say “yes” to every opportunity, often at the expense of their mental health. The desire to be seen as indispensable can lead to chronic stress and burnout.
- Difficulties with Trust: The focus on independence means that they often find it difficult to trust their colleagues to do things the ‘right’ way, therefore they find it difficult to delegate or collaborate.
- Avoidance of Vulnerability: People with this self-saboteur are afraid to show their vulnerability – they are uncomfortable with people knowing their weaknesses, and find it difficult to receive feedback and to ask for help.
How the Achievement Saboteur Develops
Our self-saboteurs tend to come from learned behaviours and mindsets that we develop as children in response to the environment we grew up in. We then carry them into adulthood where they are often the thing that helps us be successful, and a saboteur that can derail us.
For people with the Achievement saboteur, it is likely that their caregivers rewarded independence, responsibility and competitiveness. They were often given responsibility at an early age. For example, in my coaching practice, I frequently find that people with this self-saboteur were older children who took on responsibility for caring for their younger siblings.
For some, their caregivers may have tried to live out their dreams through them. For instance, if your parent didn’t go to university they may strongly push you to do that. Or if the parent feels that they didn’t live up to their potential in their career, they may fiercely encourage the child to pursue the same career. This means that the child gives up their own dreams and needs in order to become what the care-giver wants them to.
High achievers thus learn to associate their value with external accomplishments. Over time, this connection between achievement and worth solidifies, creating a relentless drive to prove oneself.
Societal expectations further reinforce this behaviour. Messages that equate success with constant hustle and productivity can make it difficult for individuals to feel satisfied or to prioritise rest and self-care. The Achievement Saboteur can be particularly insidious because it often disguises itself as a strength. The qualities of ambition, dedication, and persistence, which are often seen as admirable traits, can mask the underlying self-doubt and fear fuelling them.
Breaking Free from the Achievement Saboteur
Overcoming the Achievement Saboteur requires self-awareness, mindset shifts, and intentional action. It isn’t about abandoning ambition or settling for mediocrity. Instead, it’s about aligning your drive with your values and cultivating a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. Here are some strategies to help:
- Recognise the Patterns
Begin by identifying the behaviours and thought patterns that indicate the presence of the Achievement Saboteur. Journaling can be an effective way to explore the triggers and emotions tied to self-sabotaging tendencies.
- Redefine Success
Challenge the belief that your worth is tied to achievement. Reflect on what success genuinely means to you beyond external validation. Think about whose version of success you are living. Is it yours, or does it belong to someone else? Consider how you can incorporate joy, growth, and connection in your definition of success.
- Set Healthy Boundaries
Learn to say “no” to commitments that don’t align with your values or goals. Recognising that you can’t do everything—and that you don’t need to—is a powerful step toward reclaiming balance and autonomy.
- Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Shift your focus from achieving a specific result to enjoying the journey. Celebrate small wins and the effort you put into your pursuits rather than fixating solely on end goals.
- Seek Support
Sometimes, the Achievement Saboteur’s grip is too strong to navigate alone. Working with a coach, therapist, or trusted mentor can provide valuable perspective and guidance. This can also be an opportunity to learn how to be vulnerable and let go of the need to constantly be seen to be strong.
- Focus on Building Trust
Experiment with delegating and learning to trust and rely on others. Practice asking for help and allowing others to provide support.
The Road Ahead
The journey to overcoming any self-saboteur is not short. These are long-held mindsets and behaviours that cannot be ‘fixed’ with a few simple hacks. But the good news is that with dedication and persistence (something you know a lot about!) you can reduce their power and allow other parts of your authentic self to shine.
The rewards—greater peace of mind, authenticity, and sustainable success—are well worth the effort. Remember – your value isn’t determined by how much you achieve; it’s rooted in who you are.
Want To Identify Your Self-Saboteurs?
Why not take our quick quiz to identify which of six self-saboteurs is is most likely to be holding you back from meeting your full potential.
Click here to complete the quiz.
Keen to know more?
To support you in your development, we have a range of self-guided workbooks that can help you make friends with your self-saboteurs. You can access them for free by joining the Liberare Consulting Community – simply complete the form at the bottom of the page.
Should you want more personalised support, check out our Being Free page which details a range of solutions to help you move forward with your personal and professional development.
Click on the pictures below to find out more about the other self-saboteurs
Disconnection
Helping
Hyper-vigilance
People Pleasing
Perfectionism
